Mum in Care home being abused

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Action on Elder Abuse 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #17823 Reply


    My Mum is in a care home and for instance; in the last month has been shouted at and harangued by two members of staff. If you complain the manager is protective toward the staff not residents.
    In fact the manager has stated her main concern is to ‘look after the carers’.
    In the past when we have complained the abuse stops for a bit and then starts up again. My mother is really old and she is getting weaker and sicker. Her mind is very good and so she used to occasionally answer back but not now, she is too scared. Mum is a very polite person and now she is very afraid to say anything at all…she stutters now and apologises in the hope the bully will stop. One of these abusive people is the deputy manager.One other member of staff today commented to Mum how this woman hates Mum.
    Her health has deteriorated and so she needs a bit more care but some staff at this home are really uncaring and downright cruel.
    This home is a dreadful place… I cannot believe how we ever thought it would be okay for Mum. I really want her moved but she is so frail.
    Please help me, we do not know what to do as the management twists everything and actually this is almost a Police matter.
    My Mum is a beautiful kind lady who has lived a long life and I totally feel like we are failing her because we do not know what to do.She isn’t difficult or anything. She is a gentle person.

  • #17830 Reply

    Thank you for your correspondence,

    We are sorry to hear of the situation you describe regarding your mother. You did not mention if you have contacted any other agencies to voice the concerns you have about the care of your mother and the attitude of staff. One option could be for you to contact CQC ( Care Quality Commission) the independent regulator of health and social care in England, on 0300 061 6161 and

    They are not responsible for resolving individual complaints, but do want to hear about poor practice they can then use the information when they inspect their services.

    You may also want to consider raising an adult safeguarding alert if you wish to do so. This is the term used by Social Services when concerns are raised about an elderly adult who may be at risk of abuse or neglect. The Adult Safeguarding Team have a duty to protect vulnerable adults. You can find the details for the Adult Safeguarding department in the local authority’s website where your mother resides. Alternatively, respond to this email with the town where you mother lives in and we can reply with the correct contact details for you.

    Safeguarding alerts can be raised anonymously so you do not have to give any of your own personal details. Please provide all necessary information in relation to the abuse so that the officer dealing with your safeguarding alert can explore all areas of concern. I hope this information is helpful, and the situation is resolved as soon as possible. You are welcome to call our free helpline ( 0808 808 8141) if you require any further information or advice.

    We did our best to make sure the information in this email was correct when we sent this email. We do not provide legal advice and we cannot be held responsible for any mistake or missing information, or for any action you take or fail to take as a result of the information in this email.

  • #17905 Reply


    Can you tell me what happens if I raise a safeguarding alert? It is going to be pretty obvious who has raised it. I want to minimise potential backlash. The management are rotten from the top down. The deputy is the worst of the lot. Mum is terrified that we will make the situation worse because we know for a fact they will find an excuse to kick her out of the home.

    • #18109 Reply

      Alerts should be raised as soon as abuse or neglect is witnessed or suspected. Especially if the adult remains in or is about to return to the place where the suspected/alleged abuse occurred and the alleged abuser is likely to have access to the adult or others who might be at risk. Safeguarding alerts can be raised anonymously.

      The Care Act 2014 requires that the local authority must make enquiries, or require another agency to do so, whenever abuse or neglect are suspected in relation to an adult with care and support needs. The scope of that enquiry, who leads it and its nature, will be dependent on the particular circumstances. It will usually start with the individual who is the subject of the concern, and the next steps will to some extent depend on their wishes. Everyone involved in an enquiry must focus on improving the individual’s well-being and work together to that shared aim.

      An enquiry could range from a conversation with the individual who is the subject of the concern to a more formal multi-agency arrangement.The first priority should always be the safety and well being of the adult and, when the adult has capacity to make their own decisions, to aim for action to be inline with their wishes as far as appropriate.

      Your local authority has an Adult Safeguarding Team. Their details can be found on the local authority’s website. We suggest that you contact them to seek further guidance.

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