How to report a carer who is abusing the person he should be caring for

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Sarah Smith 1 year, 3 months ago.

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  • #3789 Reply


    My brother is paid carers allowance to look aftery invalided mother who has dementia.She gave him a large inheritance some months ago and he now goes out every afternoon and comes hope very drunk and then verbally abuses her.
    Who can I speak to as Birmingham social services are not interested unless she complains herself.
    A she is scared of him
    B she has severe dementia

  • #4722 Reply

    Dear K,

    We are sorry to hear of the abuse you state your mother is subject to from your brother.

    You state your mother has severe dementia, but it is not clear if this impacts her ability to make decisions (lacking mental capacity). Sometimes social services carry out basic mental capacity assessments when visiting clients, so it may be an idea for her to be thoroughly assessed by a specialist.

    We would suggest encouraging your mother to see her GP who may refer her to a specialist for a mental capacity assessment.

    If it is deemed your mother lacks mental capacity, we would suggest you raise a Safeguarding Alert to the Adult Safeguarding Team in the Local Authority where your mother resides. They have a duty to look into reports and concerns of abuse and take the necessary steps to safeguard a vulnerable adult.

    If it is deemed your mother retains mental capacity, we would encourage you to sensitively talk about your worries regarding her circumstances and explain to her why you are so concerned. Also to reassure her that there are people who can help, such as Social Services, but she would have to engage with them.

    Best wishes,

  • #5360 Reply

    Sarah Smith

    I forgot to mention that i found the police to be very helpful. I started to report Abuse incidents to the Police who have been very switched on and have helped me to wake up Adult Social Care to their responsibilities. Multi-agency approach helped.

  • #5359 Reply

    Sarah Smith

    That sounds like a difficult scenario you describe. I hope you are able to resolve the Mental Capacity Issue and get Social care to take the case seriously. I have a similar experience involving elderly mum with dementia being abused by husband who is her main carer. Lots of worrying issues . Main problem i had was getting a Capacity Assessment done. Varied opinions among the professionals and family. She was left unprotected by a careless Capacity Assessment and it took a year to get a second opinion. Social Care used the first assessment to help them close the case and walk away from domestic abuse/elder abuse.
    Don’t let Social Care fob you off in any way and keep pushing for them to protect your mum.
    I am still fighting the inadequacies of the system after nearly two years.
    It has been a shock to find how the agencies supposed to protect our Elders are not always fit for purpose….
    Good Luck!

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